Navigating Multipreneurship and Community Kindness with Aila Malik

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Narrator

At a crossroads of uncertainty and opportunity. How do you navigate forward? This podcast focuses on making smart choices in a rapidly changing world. We investigate the challenges of being at a crossroads and finding opportunities that arise out of disruption. Listen in on future forward conversations with the brightest luminaries, movers and shakers. Let's navigate forward together and create what's next.

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Lisa Thee

Hello, everyone, and welcome to the Navigating Forward podcast. My name is Lisa Thee and I'll be your host today. One of my favorite things to do in life is to collect experts in all different fields, and Aila Malik is my go to person for everything and leadership and nonprofits to being a children's book author to being a lawyer by training and bringing some of that wisdom into all different places. She is truly the official definition of a multi-year preneur and somebody I really aspire to live in alignment with. So thank you so much for being here today, Aila.

00;00;47;28 - 00;01;07;07

Aila Malik

Thanks for having me. Lisa. I'm so excited by what you're presenting out in the world and how you're inspiring other people to pick up their dreams and start companies and start visions. And just like you did. So thank you for having me.

00;01;07;07 - 00;01;26;09

Lisa Thee

What goes around comes around, and you've been an inspiration to me for a long time. So can you tell us a little bit about your background, where you're from and how you think that influences what you do today?  

00;01;26;12 - 00;01;51;24

Aila Malik

Yes, And I so born and raised South Bay Californian, which is a rarity, I feel like these days. I'm a first generation Pakistani-American and a product of divorced parents and each with their own challenging issues around substance and mental health and mental wellness, I should say, and and was an only child then. Both of those and had the privilege of being very loved and growing up with with it. A lot of abundance in attention and love.

00;01;51;24 - 00;02;16;15

Aila Malik

But certainly, you know, I think a very different childhood from the one I'm striving to raise with my with my children. And I say the childhood piece because I think it propelled me into the there were sort of two maxims from my childhood. One is in the immigrant mentality, you're going to get a job the minute that you can under the table, and then the minute that school gives you the work permit to do so over the table.

00;02;16;15 - 00;02;44;08

Aila Malik

And so work was always a part of my my childhood since probably my first job aged ten or 11 under the table. And that, you know, you could do whatever you wanted so long as you did something. And the part where I've chosen to work has been around helping people. And I think that comes from a compassionate place of having to help myself as a kid and having to support it however I could my my parents.

00;02;44;09 - 00;03;10;26

Aila Malik

So I now fast forward, as you mentioned, I've formally been through law school. I often say I am a lawyer by training and sort of a social worker wannabe by heart and mind, and I'm now sort of a nonprofit consulting executive in my in my work life. Mom and creator in the in the off life. Yes. And I can relate so much to that.

00;03;10;26 - 00;03;32;02

Lisa Thee

I often joke that my engineering degree should be retired and that I'm just really a social worker at heart. Yes, that's exactly right. I feel like at least, you know, we know ourselves. I know myself. So I know that you've had an amazing career journey. Can you talk people through what it how you evolved over time and where it's led you to today?

00;03;32;04 - 00;03;56;22

Aila Malik  

Yeah, I think, you know, the the learning, the every single job, you know, an experience or volunteer or ship or internship that I've had has given me a sense of learning and an opportunity to discover what I like, who I am, and sort of figure out my own vision where it's led me to is that I deeply, deeply care about community impact and involvement.

00;03;56;22 - 00;04;39;05

Aila Malik

It's sort of my true North and my understanding and or contribution to that vision is really around how to elevate non-profits or changemakers to be their very best. So I think it's about, you know, my every single job has given me proximity to pain or suffering or customer service or meeting people. It's every single experience has challenged my relationship to conflict, has helped me figure out who my what my own voice is, what my own standing is, and to the point where for me on my trajectory, I was able to start my own business.

00;04;39;05 - 00;05;10;18

Aila Malik

Five years ago and really help other people become change agents and run companies that can be really impactful in the space. So prior to going into entrepreneurship with Foley and you were leading a nonprofit as an executive director? Correct, Actually as a CEO and chief strategic officer. So I, I that's exactly right. For 14 years I was and for 14 years I was a sort of a chief, one of the executives for a juvenile justice nonprofit.

00;05;10;18 - 00;05;31;21

AIla Malik

And so we and we were really focused on building. It was kind of like that founding, you know, space of of sharing an office to hiring staff to, you know, building budgets and scaling the work. And so I think it was it was that that gave me the foundation and the passion for building and the experience around it.

00;05;31;24 - 00;05;54;07

Aila Malik

But it also gave me the space to say, wow, how how do we create sustainability in a sector? How do I take what I've learned here and actually share the learning and develop myself and my ability as a change agent even more? And that was a big risk when you left the stability of something that you grew in partnership with your co-founders from the ground up, right?

00;05;54;07 - 00;06;16;15

Aila Malik

Can you tell us a little bit about taking that step off the cliff? And yeah, what you expected and what actually happened to me forever. I spent two years in coaching on the issue of whether I should whether I should leave it to you know, I was there for 14 years. It was really I loved it. It was stable.

00;06;16;15 - 00;06;33;16

Aila Malik

I was I was there was nothing wrong with my work or my experience or my family there, you know, I mean, it was just I often joke and say I felt like I got a divorce, but I was still in love with my partner. Like, you know, like it was like, why am I doing this? And and the why for me was really around.

00;06;33;16 - 00;06;56;05

Aila Malik

It was time to to put my skills in a different way. And I really strong felt strongly that the organization had a lot of founder blood in it and it needed some some breath and a new way to relate and assimilate executive talent to take risks and growth. And I knew that we were there was the real founder that the beginning founder.

00;06;56;05 - 00;07;26;00

Aila Malik

Plus there were two of us that just by tenure had become sort of co-founder energies. And of the three, I was sort of most positioned to take that risk. It was scary as hell. It took me. I gave a year, a year notice to the guys, which is like, I mean, you know, I gave over a year notice to the board and to the executor, to the executive director and to the board and and then use that year to have the most professional fun that I had had to that point.

00;07;26;00 - 00;07;52;16

Aila Malik

So I used that year to teach as a is an urgency for change. My departure became the thing you know the like the modem, the momentum to start change, initiate change. And I built a really amazing bench and really focused on decentralized decision making and system building and efficient see and synergy. And we just all had this adrenaline to like run for a year.

00;07;52;18 - 00;08;15;19

Aila Malik  

And I left without a job in hand because I was so busy in that last year and I didn't I didn't have the space to create what was next. And, you know, my immigrant parent, my dad, I never forget, was like, what are you what are you doing? Like, you're you've literally done the proverbial like, work yourself out of a job and what is your plan?

00;08;15;21 - 00;08;46;16

Aila Malik

And and so I the you know, the next phase two of this journey is I took a few months. I had a great advice from someone who said for the next month, say no to everything, every opportunity. Just say no because you need to really be in a place of what's next and reflection and and I found myself after that months sort of passively in interview processes, people had kind of reached out and said, well, you know, would you consider coming here and coming here?

00;08;46;18 - 00;09;05;09

Aila Malik

And I was very transparent about the fact that I was really in our introspective kind of inflection point and got to a place of offers. And I thought, Oh, I'm off. I'd like to say shit on your podcast. But I mean, it was like really like an oh shit moment. Like, I don't know what the hell I'm doing.

00;09;05;14 - 00;09;23;25

Aila Malik

I have left my job. I miss I'm still in love with my ex and now I'm getting, you know, marital proposals and, and meanwhile I want to travel the world with my family and make good on a promise that we had committed to. And I will feel so disloyal to come in and leave two or three years later.

00;09;23;27 - 00;09;53;06

Aila Malik  

Long, long story short, had a sleepless night. And in the middle of the night I thought, Huh, how can I? I was super clear on my objectives. How can I stay relevant and learn? How can I and I had been in the same context for 14 years, so how can I try my skills someplace else? How can I create some sort of guilt mitigation around leaving so something noncommittal?

00;09;53;06 - 00;10;21;03

Aila Malik

Like how can I not fully, fully stay on so that I can travel, travel the world of my family? That was sort of what it was. And how can I continue to have an impact in the community? That's super clear for me as to the kind of contribution I want to make. And so overnight I designed venture leadership consulting the company that I now run and went back to those offers and said, Hey, I had this epiphany last night, I'm not going to take your offer because I'm going to do this thing.

00;10;21;05 - 00;10;51;09

Aila Malik

But do you want to be my first client? Yes. And I had had three offers and two of those offers converted and were my first clients. And so I started this business from day one with sort of this interesting inflection story. So it's a very long winded explanation, but the journey is probably important to clarify for people that often when you see people that have not only thrived but grown through transition points, you hear the really polished version of the hero's journey, right?

00;10;51;09 - 00;11;15;00

Aila Malik

Like everything was going good. The parents died, death and despair, sadness. And then something changed and it was better at the end, right? You don't really get the true the true essence of the whitewash of what happens in that transition, that that sleepless night that month. You sit there going, oh, my gosh, if I say no. Well, anybody ever asked you for anything ever again?

00;11;15;04 - 00;11;39;14

Aila Malik

Brutally. And then the pressure to write like this, you know, the you know, Lisa, I appreciate you peeling back the onion of the of the story in the sense, you know, I remember that pressure of like the what will people say? Pressure around like, wow, she worked herself out of this C-suite job where she could you know, she could sort of make the change she needed to in on on paper.

00;11;39;14 - 00;11;54;17

Aila Malik

It was all great and everything was perfect. And and then she the pressure of like she left that for what? You know, like this pressure of like what was going to be the next thing because everyone kept saying, Oh, I can't wait to see where you land. And can't wait to see your next adventure all from a good space.

00;11;54;17 - 00;12;17;28

Aila Malik

And we've all heard these lines before. But it was, I think and I know you share that it was like this. Oh, crap, I better I better have a good idea. Come up with something. Yeah. I'll never forget when I started telling people that I was leaving Intel and a successful director level role to go do my own business, including my own family, they're like, Oh my gosh, what are you throwing away?

00;12;17;28 - 00;12;44;04

Aila Malik

And I had a little bit of fun at my mother's expense weeks ago when an article came out. My parents were like, Oh, we're so proud. And I'm like, Remember that time when you really didn't get totally, totally. I hear it. Yeah. So I thank you for sharing that journey. What are some of the cool things you've gotten to do as a leader of Venture Connected Leadership?

00;12;44;07 - 00;13;09;20

Aila Malik

You guys specialize, So we are. It's it's a really cool and fun shop for now is what I'll say is what we do. So just a quick the one line or the grandma version of what we do is we are change artists for the nonprofit sector. What we do is come in and either lead change from the inside out by taking an executive seat for a period of like a year and really driving performance impact and scale.

00;13;09;27 - 00;13;37;06

Aila Malik

Or we do it as like a little bit more of a traditional consultant with coaching or strategic plans or whatever. And so in this space, I feel like a secret spy that I've gotten to, you know, from coming from one relationship, right, One company for 14 years and then working with 70 over five years has been this incredible gift to immerse and understand and learn.

00;13;37;06 - 00;14;08;09

Aila Malik

It's like a it's like a alert, you know, a student crazy student addiction, like on fire, like I'm getting all this kind of academic campus or something, right? You're just infused with new ideas and totally, totally. And so you get to sort of like, you know, you go into So if I have a client client sitting here, which is a national organization or 49 years foundation, which is tied to a brand and a and an an athletic team or ISO, you get to take these seeds and learn how that company works.

00;14;08;09 - 00;14;32;09

Aila Malik

What's the culture, what what will work for it to change and drive performance in this culture. And that has been exhilarating to sort of just learn and lean in and create really family everywhere, kind of create this network of amazing change makers in the space. And then my favorite part of this work has been about trying to make some methodology out of out of those data points.

00;14;32;16 - 00;14;58;10

Aila Malik

So if it worked here, if immersion and trust building worked here in this way, if you know this work prep plan seems to always be a great place to catalyze and align thinking and workstreams how do we just keep doing more of that? That boilerplate stuff so that we don't have to reinvent the wheel? And my real hope is to, you know, publish or get out what it is that we're doing that works.

00;14;58;10 - 00;15;16;26

Aila Malik

And you don't need a consultant for all of it. You don't need these high fancy extra talent. You just need to know how to change, be a change maker and drive that change in your own space. So that's that's been three or four years off out of a job. Again, here I am. I am with a little more confidence this time.

00;15;16;26 - 00;15;49;12

Lisa Thee

Maybe it won't take 14 years this time. So with that in mind, share with us some of your proudest accomplishments through this journey so far.  

00;15;49;12 - 00;16;16;26

Aila Malik

Yeah. Um. Gosh, there's a lot, I think for me that one of the biggest accomplishments. So we when I started, you know, it was, it was just me. And after I had converted those two offers to clients, the first thing I did with the extra money above my, above the salary I was used to was, was hire an admin support person to extend bandwidth. And I started to do that with freelancing and, and, and one of the proud moments I had was 2 to 3 years in the I had did go on that yearlong travel with my family as you know. And my plan had been to just sunset the company I go travel and then go in house somewhere and by then we had an employee team and we were starting to move into other states and just all word of mouth, we just were really busy.

00;16;16;26 - 00;16;34;11

Aila Malik

All of the time. And so the team that was there said, We want to run it. We want to just we still want to keep we wanted to go with the company and and I said, okay, great. Here's the here's the cash flow, here's the pipeline. They're like, well, what what if then they started getting worried, Well, what if it goes under?

00;16;34;13 - 00;16;52;20

Aila Malik

They'll call me. If it goes under, just make sure that I can get a job when I get back and do right by the clients. And here you go. Here are the keys. And they killed it. They crushed it, and we grew. And so I think that was a very proud moment to reenter and not know all of our clients and not know even all of our freelancers and employees.

00;16;52;20 - 00;17;15;08

Aila Malik

And and so now we're we really do have more of a shared leadership model where a team of nine people are employees. But then we have another ten, 15 freelancers and we're serving we're on both coasts of the country, We're in the East Coast here in the West Coast. And so it's been really a proud moment to see this work kind of take off and expand beyond me.

00;17;15;10 - 00;17;38;24

Lisa Thee

Variance regional L.A. Can you share with us a little bit more about some of the trends that you're seeing out there, especially since you touched so many of the agencies that are really working in some of the more delicate areas of our society. I think we all see that there's more vision in our social fabric. We all see the trends that people are struggling through this pandemic era. What are what are some of your biggest takeaways from watching this and how are you working to help counteract some of the things you don't control?

00;17;39;02 - 00;18;03;12

Aila Malik

What a great question. So just by way of context of the of the work that we do, so we're pretty much exclusively nonprofits and foundations, and a lot of the nonprofits that we work with are human centered safety net nonprofit, so foster care, juvenile justice, homelessness, education.

00;18;03;12 - 00;18;42;05

Aila Malik

So we really see sort of the vulnerable members of the community through these agencies. And what we have seen as as you know, and the data supports that COVID, the pandemic has, has disproportionately impacted our community. And those that are the most vulnerable among us have really sort of suffered in great, great proportion. And what we have seen is on the nonprofit business side of the house in times of so a lot of us who joined the nonprofit field, we are comfortable in crisis.

00;18;42;05 - 00;19;11;17

Aila Malik

We're good at crisis. We we know how to navigate in case manage and support, you know, through times of difficulty. And part of our calling is being able to to help people. And what we see in the pandemic is that there are so much areas for need that and we get a lot of government sort of infusion on funds and support that We see our sector moving to a lot of transitional Band-Aid work.

00;19;11;19 - 00;19;41;18

Aila Malik

And what I mean by that is it's all righteous and good, but it's not long lasting, enduring outcome building work. So an organization that might have been really focused on creating outcomes for livable wage for the homeless, you know, those at risk of homelessness in a particular community, now they suddenly find themselves being a food pantry and being having, you know, being open or distributing supplies or PPE or those kinds of things, those are all needed.

00;19;41;20 - 00;20;13;05

Aila Malik

But as a as a society, as a as a sector, I worry that the pandemic has moved our focus a little bit away from what we need to be for this vulnerable community to be able to have lasting change towards equity and justice. And so that's an interesting tension that we hold, is how do you you're the front lines for a lot of this, so you need to respond and yet you have to have your eye on on the outcomes and what is going to drive lasting systemic change.

00;20;13;08 - 00;20;35;28

Aila Malik

It's been it's been very a balance of the tactical and strategic and often the place where people bring in consultants, Right, to help them keep that strategic focus amidst all of the turmoil of what needs to happen in survival mode, Right? Yeah, that's right. Now, I think that's it's just harder because our natural inclination as nonprofit practitioners is to be the ones that know how to walk and witness through difficulty.

00;20;35;28 - 00;21;16;16

Aila Malik

And that means that means being very available for the emergency or the crisis with the tactical needs. And so that's been an interesting trend. We luckily were very excited to support the the the the National Office of Minority Game essentially gave a very large grant to Morehouse School of Medicine to look at the focus, the intersection of how the pandemic has hit ethnic minority communities and also build a technology app solution around sharing information to help mitigate those disproportionate impacts.

00;21;16;19 - 00;21;34;22

Aila Malik

And so we're really excited to be one of the consultants and the team to do that work and really at the center of sort of racial reckoning and pandemic disproportionate impact and how we can be part of that solution. I think at the end of all of this, or my proudest accomplishment is that all of us are very, very mission driven.

00;21;34;22 - 00;22;08;25

Lisa Thee

And so we get to be part of the work and not just wearing one banner. We get to see it from foster care, from justice, from education, from a lot of different lenses. How has your job changed over the last ten years?  

00;22;08;27 - 00;22;32;06

Aila Malik

Well, it's it's very removed. I think. I think the for me, the humility of remembering what that proximity means to me and to the community is what I hope I embody and carry as a leader. Because that proximity, if you're not if you're not careful about that, about how that's influencing, you can really change your leadership style. So I think my my work is actually very similar. It's around healing and it's around justice and equity. But my vantage point has moved from the micro individual to then organizational to now sort of sector system wide.

00;22;32;06 - 00;22;52;11

Aila Malik

How is it that we can scale things that work in our sector? Different vantage point. Yeah. So you did share with us a really interesting fact about you that your family prioritized a year of travel. Do you want to ring with us a little bit about what that looked like and what were the good, the bad, the ugly of doing that?

00;22;52;13 - 00;23;30;13

Aila Malik

Yeah, we, I really and it's it's actually related to professional stuff, too. I really firmly believe in in being very clear and intentional about your highest purpose or your vision or your you're so white or your true north, whatever language you want to call it. And so and I and I find myself doing that and articulating it at a regular clip for me, myself, for my company and as a family and as a family, we had kind of my husband and I who were high school sweethearts.

00;23;30;13 - 00;23;58;12

Aila Malik

We wanted the plan was to travel the world backpack style before we had kids. And much to our delight and surprise, we were we started having a family much earlier than anticipated. And so I will never forget we looked at each other and we said, Well, I guess we'll have to travel with kids. And we had number two when we had number three and and we we at the time of that, you know, we knew third was going to be the last.

00;23;58;12 - 00;24;18;19

Aila Malik

And we sort of said, okay, we need to wait for a time before our oldest hits high school and when our youngest can remember it. So that the joke used to be like when the youngest can wipe his own bed and take his own shower, and when the oldest before the oldest at high school. So we knew the time was going to be 2018 or 2019.

00;24;18;21 - 00;24;42;26

Aila Malik

And the initial plan was 2019 to 2020. And just lucky for us, we actually did an audible just before and said now we should move it up to 2018, 2019 to give our oldest a chance to be an eighth grader before he transitioned to high school. And and luckily for us, that worked out with the pandemic. But we so we homeschooled our three kids.

00;24;42;26 - 00;25;06;21

Aila Malik

We we that was a true north for us as a family for a long time. So we made decisions. You heard in my story that I started a company because I wanted to leave. We made decisions about our profession, about promotions, about politics, community engagement all around this trip that we were going to be leaving. And and we still didn't know how you're going to finance it.

00;25;06;21 - 00;25;23;21

Aila Malik

We still, you know, we pushed that the intention and pretty much things started to, you know, started to to happen. We got to the place where we said, okay, we got to figure out this financial piece. Can we take a second mortgage on the house? Can we do that? You know, And lo and behold, we got to the place where we were leaving.

00;25;23;24 - 00;25;40;05

Aila Malik

And we my husband had gone in looking to take that risk and just leave and get a job when he gets back. And the company said, well, we'll give you a leave of absence. We don't want you to leave. I had looked at Sunset, my company and figured out when I get back and the company said, Oh, we'll run it while you're gone.

00;25;40;05 - 00;26;06;23

Aila Malik

So we're very lucky. And we homeschooled the three kids and went to 41 countries in 54 weeks and it was the best experience of our life, I think, and incredibly bonding. And we got to know each other incredibly well as a unit. And and we were very well prepared for the pandemic as a result, because we are used to spending a lot of time together in close quarters.

00;26;06;26 - 00;26;28;05

Aila Malik

What was one of the funny, funnier, like moments where you're like, Why did we do this? Oh my God, Right away. The very first place, the first place we went to, which was supposed to be the romance. Cappello My husband and I went where we honeymooned in Belize, and we hope a perfect way to start this will be that will start in our place of romance, which was Belize.

00;26;28;05 - 00;26;50;06

Aila Malik

And then we'll head down Central America. And but we were really clear that this wasn't going to be a yearlong vacation. We didn't have the funds for it, and that wasn't the intention. It was going to be really be about learning and integration and immersion. So we're like, great, we'll just go into this very cute beach cabana and it's very Spartan and it's in this specific little village.

00;26;50;09 - 00;27;15;17

Aila Malik

And we got there and who I kid you not, the first day on the bed were dead. Cockroaches on the sheet, which we're not yet like the deal breaker I can handle. They were dead. And I was like, okay, this is it's been fumigated, but yuck. Okay, change it. And then the first night or the second night, I'm reading a book and my peripheral vision, something scurries behind me.

00;27;15;19 - 00;27;31;04

Aila Malik

And there were it was rat infested. We had three rats in the period of like the two weeks of our stay there. We stayed for two weeks. But I thought, what the heck are we doing? Are we we are going to end up with a disease. We're going to I don't know why we're doing this. It it was thunderous rain.

00;27;31;10 - 00;27;48;16

Aila Malik

There was algae all over the beach because there was a big climate change issue. So we couldn't I mean, it was like and the kids were like, is this how the whole trip is? We didn't know it was, you know, that was one of our that was definitely there's there were tons, but that was definitely one that stands out, as I remember.

00;27;48;16 - 00;28;17;12

Aila Malik

And I wrote a little we have a it's Franklin Street Globetrotters dot org and we're on Instagram and all that too. But I wrote a blog post saying, What have we done? Like, is it too late to come home? Like, what are we doing? So that was that was that stands out. I love that. One of the things that I actually have used in my lifetime that is a great resource for people to know about is some of the children's books that you've written.

00;28;17;14 - 00;28;49;08

Aila Malik

I remember when my daughter was going to preschool and she was really nervous about being away. I remembered that you had written a book called Pocket Mommy, and it talks about that transition. And I know that you've recently written another one. Do you mind share a little bit more about your books and what. Yeah, thank you for asking because they're they're, they're labors of love and they so, you know, going back to that sort of true north and that ambition and intention for me, for me personally, it's really about feeling complete.

00;28;49;08 - 00;29;12;04

Aila Malik

It's about completion in my relationships with others and completion of my relationship to myself and so the family stuff around the travel and the work around, how do we elevate impact of all like that's all very aligned to who I want to be in this, in this space, in this place. And one of the things that refreshes and refuels my battery is to be able to create.

00;29;12;06 - 00;29;36;20

Aila Malik

And so every year about if our company does well, well enough, I take a little kind of piece off of the the the profit very little amount and I just put it away for a community project and I choose like, what could that what could that be? What is what what would I like to express? And for me, it has been a fun collaboration on children's books.

00;29;36;20 - 00;30;14;14

Aila Malik

So the latest book is called Mommy Am I American, and I collaborated with a non in my one of my clients and Imagine Bus Project was a nonprofit at the time and one of the staff members there is an amazing human who with the organization was to go into juvenile hall and teach arts to incarcerated young people. And I saw him draw a young person in who was incarcerated, and she felt so seen by him and she had this little portrait at the end and there was such a power in how he how he conveyed messaging through art.

00;30;14;14 - 00;30;32;09

Aila Malik

And I just said, hey, do you want to I got this little fund to do projects. I'll give it all to you. Do you want to do a book with me? And he said, Yes. And at about the same time, the the books are always about ways for me to practice that completion at home or for me to share that completion.

00;30;32;09 - 00;31;15;23

Aila Malik

And so the completion for me at that time was how do I help my kids not be afraid of the political narrative that was starting to happen with Trump's election. And my oldest son, who was then in fifth grade, was very, very afraid. And through media messaging, probably through messages that we were getting off to as a family, you know, he was really concerned about being brown, about having a muslim identity, about having a Pakistani identity, though he's you know, born and raised here and really started to question like if he's American, I had to kind of remind him, like just because you don't wear a certain hat or look a certain way or carry

00;31;15;23 - 00;31;41;05

Aila Malik

a certain kind of clothing, you are American. And I remember at that time, one of my clients at work was to be here. It's a national organization that uses service. It's the Clinton and Bush both established a bipartisan organization to create kind of the Peace Corps volunteerism here in America, in in certain cities of high need. And I was the executive director of over the San Jose site.

00;31;41;05 - 00;32;02;06

Aila Malik

And we went to Washington, DC for for lobbying. And so, you know, sort of sharing our work. And in that trip, there were all these executive orders that the Muslim travel ban and all of these things that I could do. I knew that my kids at home were probably watching or hearing the news and just cringing. And I came home and I wrote that book through tears.

00;32;02;06 - 00;32;20;18

Aila Malik

I had a cup of coffee sitting right here, and it was a Saturday morning at 5 a.m. and I was just crying. I'm like, How do I love this country? How do I share that love and hold and share the ideals and the desire of what I want it to be and and hold a clarity of disappointment? And how do I tell that to my kids?

00;32;20;20 - 00;32;42;21

Aila Malik

And so, Mommy, my American was with that message. And it's just a boy about a boy who learns that patriotism is actually to show love and kindness. And it's is that idealist? Yes, this is it. You know, is it a little bit dark? I meaning, you know, the pictures, the illustrations are beautiful. They're in sepia. But it's not like a feel good, like, you know, bubbly children's book.

00;32;42;21 - 00;33;05;20

Aila Malik

It's like probably not the bedtime book, but but it was our truth and it was a collaboration. And so I chronicled conversations that are happening in families all across the country. And it's a window into what does it look like when you're being told that you are not something that you know, you embody? That's it. It's you've said it so perfectly.

00;33;05;22 - 00;33;28;29

Aila Malik

And and so it was just from a passion of like, gosh, this this mess. And I, I sat on it. We traveled. That was actually before I left for the trip. Right. And then we traveled and nothing happened. And I came back pre George Floyd and thought I really want to get this out this year. And so I just self-published and then George Floyd happened and the conversation is so relevant and it's just as relevant now.

00;33;28;29 - 00;33;53;08

Aila Malik

And today as it was when I wrote it years ago. And so yeah, that's and so so yeah, the point is these projects are not side hustle businesses. I think I make a penny or I lose a penny for every comic. I should probably figure that one out. But it's, it really is just my way of, of trying to live my own intention and value and it brings me joy Thank you very much relate to that.

00;33;53;11 - 00;34;11;20

Aila Malik

This year is a give back with another female founder friend of mine. We created a women's entrepreneurship course to demystify that process. And I'm like, I think I just paid for a hobby. I still think that was a business, but I'm really enjoying it. So okay, it's a joy, it's an investment in your joy and the contribution you want to make to the community. I But I literally have stopped saying, Yeah, like that. It's, it's not, it's not lucrative. It doesn't necessarily pay for. It's, it's just like how I want to, you know, contribute to, you know, to parenting and my own learning journey.

00;34;11;20 - 00;34;32;06

Lisa Thee

I love that. So I love you do so much everyone else. What do you do to recharge your batteries? You can't always be. You need directional in that. How how do you manage lifting yourself as well?

00;34;32;09 - 00;34;55;15

Aila Malik

You know, Lisa, I have been I didn't realize that I've historically been really bad at that. So what I mean by that is I, I think I if you know, I don't know if you're in any grams and all the stuff, but, you know, I'm a member, I'm a very community, community centered person.

00;34;55;15 - 00;35;19;18

Aila Malik

And so when I when I'm able to be a part of helping others, it is a fuel for myself. And for years I sort of was thought that that was it. Like I'm actually pretty refueled and I yes, I like to garden and play guitar, go for walks and have introverted time. But like I was very much at that superficial wellness and and thought I was for years thought I was fine until recently and you and I haven't had a chance to connect this way.

00;35;19;18 - 00;35;46;19

Aila Malik

And I've been thinking about you a lot and for your own journey of health and wellness, because I know you'll know what I mean. I hit my head on Thanksgiving just like, completely, like, just silly. I laughed, I laughed at my kids joke. I moved my whole torso and I hit my head, clear my head. And I had a really bad post concussive syndrome as a result of where I hit my head right above the temple.

00;35;46;21 - 00;36;10;05

Aila Malik

And I was disoriented and I had light and sound issues, you know, phobia, dysmorphia. Sorry, I had dizziness. I was spinning out like I had high anxiety. I thought I was going to die. Like I thought, you know, I don't know. I was just so scary and I couldn't be on screens or read for like three weeks. So here I was, this like, high performing.

00;36;10;05 - 00;36;33;04

Aila Malik

I can be a CEO of this client and that client and my own company and be an author and write, right? Like my also partnership productivity like dropped and I realized, Oh my God, I don't know the first thing about wellness, I really don't like I this is this sprint. So what my learning from this has been, I'm much better today, but it's been I'm still in it in the recovery.

00;36;33;04 - 00;37;00;26

Aila Malik

It's two or three months out. Is is that I when I sprint and I'm not it's no longer sustainable for me to to play hard and rest hard. I'm used to a very clear sprinting culture where I play hard, I rest hard. I kind of put my all into every phase that I'm wherever I'm at and and what we found from that, from hitting my head is someone else might have recovered really easily.

00;37;00;26 - 00;37;23;27

Aila Malik

But because I hold tension in shoulders and back and I zoned back to back all day, I sprained my neck. I like I had all these other issues that maybe another person who was sort of whole holistically healthy would not have had. And the big aha was, wow, I it's not just about slowing down because people say, oh, slow.

00;37;24;04 - 00;37;51;27

Aila Malik

It's not that. It's about I needed to really be intentional about listening to my body and learning how to check in on my body, even if it's not screaming at me how to make myself just take breaks and walk. And so this last two months has been my self-care has been literally no joke trying to check off. And I'm also very analytical, so check off every part of my body and do like a wellness check.

00;37;51;27 - 00;38;30;12

Aila Malik

So I've gotten my prescription filled on my eyes, my teeth are cleaned and cavities are filled. I have blood panels that I advocated for to test every nutrients in my body and understand my deficiencies like I am just on this quest of like, you know, in our forties, what happens? We can't take our bodies for granted. What happens now becomes some of the ailment of our seventies eighties, if we're lucky enough nineties you know and I just really serious about wanting to put intention there so I appreciate the question and I think there's superficial things that fill me up for that moment like I love to read and garden and be introverted and create, but

00;38;30;12 - 00;39;03;27

Aila Malik

I think there's a deeper recognition of wellness and peace that has entered my life that I'm trying to really embrace and learn from. Yeah, I learned. I think a lot of us are somewhere on that trajectory of that journey, especially working parents, because what usually makes you successful in business, which is being focused and I can do attitude and, you know, just push through and do and create and keep going often translates into how you parent at home as well.

00;39;03;29 - 00;39;32;11

Aila Malik

And the only know that feels really comfortable to say I most days anywhere is to yourself. Yeah. Versus you. Anybody that's dependent on you. Yeah and that's a really great recipe for a long term failure, unfortunately. Totally right. And and I think the notion of like, you know, it's one thing to be very fueled and full and joyful from family roles, from community roles, from your work roles.

00;39;32;13 - 00;39;56;09

Aila Malik

But, you know, to get to a place where you don't really know your own wellness or how your body is doing and what it's storing is is a blind spot. I didn't even realize that I had and I've taken for granted for so long. And so it's just this this desire to not have blindspots, and it's a desire to sort of better understand, like, what do I want?

00;39;56;09 - 00;40;16;13

Aila Malik

And I don't even know what I'm saying no to because I don't really hear my wants. You know what I mean? Like, I just it's not know in a way that is so much deeper than I can even express in words. I know exactly what you mean. So I'm really on that that journey, truly. And I and I thought of you because I know, you know, I know your listeners who know you.

00;40;16;13 - 00;40;35;20

Aila Malik  

I know you've had back you know, you've had your you've had your own injury. And I think when you have an injury, when you're when you're you know, my my hypothesis is when you're going full steam and you have this injury, it really it really shakes your world and makes you present to a whole new set of emotions and experiences and pacing.

00;40;35;20 - 00;40;56;09

Aila Malik

And, you know, now I'm at a place two or three months later where I'm thankful that I hit my head and had a concussion because I've had all this learning from it. But, you know, but I wish I didn't have to have learned it. I wish I would have learned it in a different way so that I could heal and recover faster, not even get injured, be more present, you know?

00;40;56;09 - 00;41;17;27

Aila Malik

Yeah. So for context for the listeners, in 2017, I needed a desk in my back and was unable to walk for more than 4 minutes at a time for about nine months. So debilitating, right? Because when you when you're when you're stuck and I think sometimes even, you know, just experiencing that any of your listeners that have had injuries, you just have a different level of empathy.

00;41;17;27 - 00;41;35;13

Aila Malik

I think when you when you realize, oh my goodness, there's a you can't be what you thought you could be or what others expected you to be or whatever, whatever, however people define you for yourself. I mean, I grew up a competitive figure skater. It was like rebel, little dirty, and then get on and move on with concussions.

00;41;35;13 - 00;41;56;04

Aila Malik

I didn't take any time off, right? Yeah, that doesn't work when your back gives out and it doesn't work when you are a working woman with a sprained neck and a concussion. Really pushing through is the exact opposite of what you need to do at that moment. So it's important for everyone who's listening to think through what got you here or doesn't necessarily get you where you want to go.

00;41;56;06 - 00;42;16;06

Aila Malik

Beautifully said. That should be the name of your part. This this episode, What got you here doesn't get you where you need to go. And I think you got to know where you want to go. And then remember that there are there are unseen checkpoints that you need. You know, it's almost like, oh, yeah, okay, your vision is clear.

00;42;16;09 - 00;42;34;02

Aila Malik

What are all the things that your vision is built upon that you're assuming is going to be true or you're taking for granted? And how do you double check those assumptions? And it's a straight it's a self strategic plan. Your personal mission and vision, you know, your your your clarity on is on strategy. And then what are those assumptions that need to be really, really honed in on?

00;42;34;02 - 00;42;50;20

Aila Malik

And I think that that was missing for me for a lot of years. I think that's also going on to your books you need to write list. Yeah, we said let's do we should do it together. We set a personal, a personal strategic plan book. I think that's that's a I am I am for that. I love that.

00;42;50;20 - 00;43;13;05

Aila Malik

Yeah. In fact, I contributed to a book last year. That was my intention, that I'll come out in 2021 called Demystifying Artificial Intelligence for the Enterprise. Mainstream assets really exciting. They'll come out in April. So my heart is open for offer. I want to copy. I want a copy of that book. I got a wonderful well, I love we've learned so much from you today.

00;43;13;05 - 00;43;33;06

Lisa Thee

And I know that you constantly put out really thought provoking and interesting content into the world. Where can people find you and keep tabs on what you're working on? Well, thank you for that. I would love to stay connected with your listeners and other change agents. I'm I'm on now to sort of bigger social media platforms. Your LinkedIn and Instagram.

00;43;33;08 - 00;43;58;28

Aila Malik

My Instagram here, I'm pretty easy to find. I love Malik. I play email. Okay. And I have a website, IWA, Malecon, but my Instagram handles are I love Malik author. I'm trying to claim and intention the author ethos. And then our our travel website. If you're if you're a travel buff or want to do a trip like this with your kids, it's it's kind of fun to bookmark the places you might go.

00;43;59;01 - 00;44;23;07

Lisa Thee

That is Franklin Street Globetrotters. Wonderful. And I actually want to end with a little bit of an anecdote about you that I think is really inspirational for our listeners. Delilah is to know that she is just giving at the core. And one of the ways that she chose to celebrate one of her most recent birthdays was having a virtual kindness party. Can you tell us a little bit about that and where some of your favorite things you saw as the outcome?

00;44;23;07 - 00;44;46;03

Aila Malik

Yes, Yes, yes, yes. So for my 40th birthday party, this is pre-COVID, right? Pre virtual world. And the mantra was connection over party dress perfection. And so, as you know, on Mondays, milestone birthdays, you know, everyone has a great big party.

00;44;46;03 - 00;45;01;15

Aila Malik  

And I'm a little introvert at least I think you know that like I love I love people and I love to be in people's energy, but I also recharge, you know, in this introverted way. And and so, you know, 48, that's more pressure. Like, what do we do and what do I. And so I just sat and thought, what would bring me joy?

00;45;01;17 - 00;45;25;25

Aila Malik

And I realized that for me to see people that I loved and care cared about sharing and doing things in the community that they were passionate about would bring me would be amazing. I'd much rather have that than a gift or not even a party. I see. I see people. It's. It's okay. We can connect. And so I gave a formal invitation and the invitation was within a certain window.

00;45;25;25 - 00;45;54;03

Aila Malik

I think it was a weekend to do anything of your choice of your choosing, some kind of act of kindness, community donation, volunteers, whatever, and tell me about it, share it. And I was overwhelmed. There's that. The hashtag was Community Kindness Party. And I think if you search it today, you'll still see some cool post. People's privacy settings may skew it a bit from what I can see, but it was beautiful and things from I think we raised monetarily.

00;45;54;03 - 00;46;17;23

Aila Malik

Monetary donations were somewhere in like the 10000 to 12000 range way more than a pretty would have generated. Right. And then there were things like people listening to stories on a bus of an immigrant Asian woman jump starting a car, paying it forward at Starbucks, like, I mean, just cool things that and people started exchanging ideas and some people said, I want to be a repeat guest at your party.

00;46;17;23 - 00;46;42;17

Aila Malik

And they kept coming to the party by doing more events. My biggest learning and what's cool is I'm now 41. I just, you know, past the first year of this community kindness party. And I saw other people in my network do their milestone party with the Community Kindness Party, maybe more so because of COVID this year, but like it was cool to see it pay forward.

00;46;42;19 - 00;47;02;19

Aila Malik

My biggest learning from it was that and I wish I had had the wisdom at the time to call it out with that. Lisa The people that shared so it was beautiful to just do it. That was attendance to the party was just to do it. And then I kind of said like, send me a picture or a text or post it.

00;47;02;21 - 00;47;36;24

Aila Malik

And and people had varying degrees of that. What I learned was that when people shared on social media, it it was catalytic. It became inspiring to their network. So I started having, quote unquote, party attendees that I didn't know from other people's networks that said, I'm doing this community kindness party thing and and the person that was my friend that would have posted that got to be seen as the change agent for that, for that lake, for that pond, for that community.

00;47;36;27 - 00;48;04;21

Aila Malik

And it was interesting because social media, so many people who didn't post or who didn't share, I think often see social media as a really and it and it is all of these things to like a really kind of superficial icky can be really icky place can be a Joneses kind of feel and and yet it was like this moment to transform your relationship to that platform for change and how others see you.

00;48;04;27 - 00;48;41;24

Aila Malik

And so and it was a chance to kind of brag about brag and quotes about a community kindness without feeling narcissistic or your own self judgment or right, like what all these challenges do about trying to get your. And so my big learning honestly, which I did not anticipate or intend, was that there is a power in voice, in in finding your voice, in using platforms for amplification of that voice and of that message that there is a power unto itself, that the act of kindness had already affected that community recipient, that was already had done deed.

00;48;42;01 - 00;49;03;17

Aila Malik

Then it got elevated by telling me because it brought me joy for my party and I felt seen. And then it elevated even more when they shared it with their networks, who suddenly saw them as being a change agent and wanted to mimic that. And there's something in that for me that actually changed and catalyzed that 40th year 40 to 41 year around.

00;49;03;19 - 00;49;21;26

Aila Malik

Wow. I want to be intentional about my voice. And I've been writing a lot more and doing a lot more around my voice as a result of of that learning, to be honest. Well, I love, in the wise words of Mahatma Gandhi, Gandhi be the change you want to see in the world and you have lived to that to your core.

00;49;21;26 - 00;49;39;11

Aila Malik

So thank you so much for inspiring our viewers BE I love being with you. Thank you for having me. And thank you for the podcast and all the good that you put out in the world. Lisa I think we, your listeners, I'm sure our are all change makers and you know, our kin kin or kin in the in the space.

00;49;39;11 - 00;49;56;22

Lisa Thee

So nice to be in your company. Do I laugh? Hey everyone, thanks for listening to the Navigating Forum podcast. We'd love to hear from you at a crossroads of uncertainty and opportunity. How do you navigate forward? We'll see you next time.

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